I’ve been gone from this blog and social media for a bit and wanted to share with you what’s been going on. I’ve been feeling a bit lost and insecure lately and hope sharing a bit of my experience about breaking through insecurity to rediscover myself and take back my life, might help you if you’re feeling the same way. For me, the events of the last year and a half have caused me to pause on all fronts and re-think my place in life and my priorities. This year has been really hard. It’s been hard for everyone. Covid, quarantine, riots, politics, so much uncertainty in the world. Personally, in addition to all of that, I lost my Dad in May after caring for him in my home for a year and a half.
Losing my Dad
After losing his wife to a long battle with cancer, I moved my dad in with me. His health was failing and I just couldn’t bear the thought of him in a nursing home. My husband and I made the decision to move him in with our family. It was such a blessing in so many ways and I am grateful and so lucky that I was able to spend the last year with him. Unfortunately, his health was failing and sadly, he passed away in May. We were able to be with him at hospice and he passed with me holding his hand and saying all the things a daughter could want to say to her Daddy at that moment. Losing my dad has been hard and I miss him so much.
Being a Caregiver
Caring for him is something I did willingly and would absolutely do again but the job of a caregiver is so difficult. It’s exhausting, all-consuming and nothing I had ever experienced before. As a caregiver, you make caring for the other person your priority. Even above yourself. And if you’re not careful your own health can slip down the list of priorities. And that’s exactly what happened to me. I really stopped taking good care of myself, stopped eating right and exercising. As much as I’m grateful for the experience, it took its toll. I was left feeling sad, a bit lost and somewhat insecure about myself.
That insecurity led me to question so many aspects of my life including why I was doing this blog in the first place. I had invested so much time and energy and my heart into this blog but these recent events and my feelings were starting to overwhelm me and cause me to second-guess myself. Insecurity had crept in and was starting to hold me back from pursuing my dream and passion. And I am not ok with that.
Insecurity is Based on Fear
I had recently heard Elizabeth Gilbert (Author of Eat, Pray, Love and Big Magic) discuss her approach to fear and insecurity. She said that you can’t escape fear but you can try to “sit down with fear” and find out what its purpose is and what the fear is trying to protect you from. Hearing that was really a pivotal moment for me. I had to understand what my fear and insecurity had to say to me. As I explored my insecurity and fear from this perspective, I discovered that really all the fear was about was “what would “they” think of me?” Whoever “they” are!
Breaking Through Insecurity
I did some further research and found a good article from Psychology Today by Melanie Greenberg,PH.D., that really shed some light on insecurity, it’s possible causes, and some great tips on what to do about it. The article stated that “Recent events in our lives can greatly affect both our mood and the way we feel about ourselves.” This made so much sense to me. The article offered some great tips (below) that I have begun to put into practice myself and I’ve added a few other things that I’m doing to move past this uncomfortable phase.
Taking Back Your Life
Psychology Today’s Tips for dealing with insecurity (number 5 is my favorite!):
- Give yourself time to heal and adapt to the new normal.
- Get out and engage with life, following your interests and curiosity.
- Reach out to friends and family for distraction and comfort.
- Get feedback from people you trust.
- Persevere and keep moving towards your goals.
- Be willing to try a different strategy if necessary.
- Get outside. Fresh air and sunshine can do wonders for your mood.
- Exercise. Even if its just a walk around the block.
- Improve your diet. Eating right helps you feel better. Just adding in some extra fruits and veggies will make a difference.
- Laugh! Watch funny dog videos if you have to. Just laugh. It helps.
- Also, cry if you need to. It’s ok.
In case you missed the key tip above, always persevere and keep moving towards your goals. This was so helpful to hear.
I’m still in the process of facing my insecurity and working through this phase. But I’m further along than I was and I’m happy to say, I feel more free already!
And Now, Let me Reintroduce Myself
Hi, I’m Kelly. I’m a wife and a full-time, working mom of a big blended family of 7 children (his, mine and ours)! Like you, I have struggles and challenges but I’m learning to embrace who I am each day. I started this blog as a fun way to share ideas, decor, fashion and be a bright, happy spot on the internet for you to stop by and say hello and hopefully come away feeling a little sunnier. If you subscribe to my newsletter, you’ll always be welcomed with curated posts featuring a few of my favorite things: decor, fashion for everyone, lifestyle and real-life stuff.
I know life is hard right now but I sincerely hope sharing my struggle with grief, loss and insecurity and tips to overcome it, is helpful to you and that you are inspired to move past your fear and pursue your dreams.
Share your Feedback!
Have you ever struggled with insecurity? What have you done to turn it around? Please share tips and advice you used so we can all benefit.